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An Entry From the Journal of a Needy Woman

Unabridged-Authentic-Personal

September 15, 2015

Laura Difatta on The Style Gathering

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Jennifer Hagler Photography

By Laura DiFatta


John 6:29
Jesus: “The work of God is this: to believe in the One He has sent.”
Jesus: “I am the bread of life, He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.”

I think I’ve had a “lightbulb moment:” That I have been trying to achieve a form of independence from God—a level of not needing Him! And I think I’ve hit on something… My tears confirm it.
I am so weak and I hate it. I really abhor it. I don’t want to need. I don’t want to lack and long and stumble and sin and fail and fear. But, I do. All that and more. I have such shame over it.

But…God’s Word tells me I have a powerful difference in me because of Jesus: When I am weak, then I am strong because God pours His strength into my lacking, my need, my insufficiency. And He Is… Enough. Sufficient. Filling. Meeting. Calming. Helping. Comforting. Guiding.
My work is believing.
My work is remembering.
My work is resting.
“In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.”
Isaiah 30:15

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 *fresh today*
“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

I am not “there.” “There” doesn’t exist in it’s fullness until heaven. But the kingdom of heaven is near and here in my heart making all things new! Because He is here in my heart. And He tells me:
“It is I; don’t be afraid.”
John 6:20

May I not kick against my weaknesses and fight for achieving independence today or ever. But may I believe today and celebrate that in all these “lackings,” He is my all and He loves me anyway.
“Great is His love for those who fear Him.”
“Those who trust in Him will never be put to shame.”

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